Thursday, May 9, 2013

I Know He's In There Somewhere.....

Here it is seven months since I have started this blog.  This is only my third post.  I had dreams about this blog.  Exciting dreams....adventures too! And boy have I had adventures since I last wrote; only not the adventures I was looking forward to having.  I was in a terrible auto accident and through some sort of miracle, my life was spared.  I was in my little Honda Fit when I was rear-ended by an SUV traveling approximately 85 mph!  It never stopped and rammed me into another SUV that was completely stopped.  The story goes on and on.  I was taken away by ambulance.   Bottom line - I survived!  Thank God.

After several months of physical therapy and recovery, I returned to work.  A week after returning to work, I woke up to my husband bringing me a cup of coffee in bed.  It was super bowl Sunday morning.  We had awaken an hour before, laughing hysterically during a conversation we were having.  After handing me my cup of coffee, my husband said he was going back for his....or at least he "tried" to say he was going back...only he couldn't get the words...... something was wrong.  His words were jumbled.  His face turned red.  He started crying.  I could see the pain of frustration and fear fill his entire being.  My heart raced as his eyes looked directly into mine begging for help.  Oh my God, I thought to he having a stroke?????

I stayed as calm as I possibly could, not letting him on to my thoughts of the possibility.  My daughter lives two doors down and I immediately called her to run over to confirm my findings that something was not right with my husband.  She confirmed it.  With that, I told my husband we were going for a little ride that could help calm things down.  I didn't bother calling the ambulance as we live in a rural area and they would have taken longer to get here than it would take me to drive him to the hospital.

I got to the hospital within five minutes.  Quietly I signaled the nursed and mouthed to her that I felt he was having a stroke.  He was immediately taken to the back of the ER and placed on a gurney.  Doctors in ER confirmed it was a stroke and administered medication instantaneously.

A stent was placed in my husband's carotid artery which had been 99.9% blocked.  We also learned he is a diabetic.  After a week in intensive care, then acute care, he was transferred to the hospital's rehabilitation facility where he was provided with exceptional care.

He could say a word or two, but they were very very slow in coming.  After a little over a week in rehab, I brought my husband home.  We go to therapy daily.  We visit doctors weekly.  I watch what he eats constantly.  He needs 24 hour care....that's what I for him constantly.  Although his speech is still on the slow side, it has improved by leaps and bounds.  I am so proud of him.  He can write things down, but has a difficult time deciphering what he wrote.  He thinks he's 40 years old and that I'm 70!!! (He's actually 60 and I'm 62.)  He has a very difficult time reading a clock or understanding what day of the week it is.  He has just recently started doing anything with numbers such as 2 + 2 =.....

When this all happened, we both had marketing he's on disability until permanent social security can set in.  And I started collecting social security even though I never planned to at this age.

So, now, we get a chance to "enjoy" life...we take things slowly together.  We eat the same things...because if he can't eat it, I can't eat it.  I don't want him to eat foods that will compromise his diabetes or any other medical situations.  After all, we both need to eat healthy anyways....doesn't everybody.  And we do eat better.  I used to only cook more than one meal a day on the weekends only.  But now I cook three healthy meals a day with two snacks in between.

I play a game out of all of it.  I never had a chance to be a chef, or a waitress, or a dishwasher.....or a maid, a nurse, an accountant or psychiatrist....but now I get that chance.  And I get to do it for somebody that I love very much.  Playing the game of occupations makes it easier for me.  He may not realize it. He may not even completely see it (the stroke has left him partially blind in both eyes).  But "I" know that he "feels" it.  Somewhere inside of him, he feels it....he feels that I am taking care of him and that I love him.....and I feel it too....which makes it all worth the new journey we are on together...where ever the  road takes us, up or down.....each day is a new day, with brand new discoveries....and we are Unstoppable together.

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